I would like to share with you five ways that supported me to flow with the waves of uncertainty in the midst of the darkness of the pandemic. When there were no more external factors to hold onto (all of the conditional ways such as job-security, partner, etc.) I was invited to surrender and trust:
- The moment and know that it is exactly where I need to be. There is no reason to judge myself for feeling what I’m feeling or being where I’m at. Whatever the stories my Inner Critic tells – is only stories to keep me from being completely in this moment and accept fully who I am in this moment. Daily meditation (on my own and in a virtual group), self-reflection and journaling were some of the practices that cultivated me to be more in the moment. To face the reality of it (without getting hooked in the stories) and to make decisions about how best to respond and engage with life in the moment.
- My body and know that it is my home. It homes my dreams, my future, my past, my successes, my failures, my biggest love, my wounds and injuries. It is the only way that I can truly be in touch with life and know I’m alive. It is my shore in the ocean of life. Whenever I feel crushed by the waves, I can rest in my shore. It is safe to be in my body. Finding and cultivating that safety in my body supported me during extreme hardship. Allowing my body to move freely through yoga and dancing strengthened the integration back into my body. Grounding myself in my body supported me to make the courageous decisions needed.
- Nature and how it mirrors the seasonality of life. Nature allows life and death to co-exist in a nourishing way. It reminds of that change is always present (and necessary) in life. The organic cycles of nature support life. There is a natural flow and deep wisdom that I tapped into when I spent time in nature. When nature is not interfered with too much there is a natural unfolding and regenerative process that takes place. Going for regular walks in the mountain or next to the sea replenished my soul. Resting my eyes on the trees as I looked out of the window grounded me. Listening to the sounds of birds reminded me that there is enough. The songs of the birds encourage me to sing my true song. I don’t need to wait for any external recognition or confirmation or even an audience that I may share my song – being alive is enough reason. Just like them. There is no entry ticket or stage to wait for nor any reason to hold back. We all got the singing ticket the moment we entered life on earth. Just sing like the flowers just blooms no matter the external environment.
- A higher power (or intelligence) and rest in the fact that I’m not in control. I don’t care about the name or label you give it – you can call it God, consciousness, presence, Love, universe, Chi, etc. I believe that there is an essence that run through all forms of religion or spirituality that speaks to this higher power/intelligence. Knowing I’m not in control gave me the permission to be less judgmental on myself when I felt “out of control”. It helped me to be kind and compassionate when I felt completely helpless during the times of uncertainty. Resting in the loving light enabled me to hold my own vulnerability tenderly so that my innermost child could feel safe. From that space curiosity, courage and strength to step into what is calling me naturally occurred. Creating time for silence, prayer, spiritual reading as well as reading a poem a day deepened my connection with God.
- Previous life experiences and how I always got back on my feet in surprising ways. In my nearly 40 years on earth, I’ve encountered numerous challenges and extreme hardship. Times when I really could not see a way out of the darkness. However, in looking back over my life, I saw how the invisible hand of life always reached out to meet me. At times it became the helping hands of health care workers when I was very sick. Other times it was the support of family and a partner that encouraged me to continue believing in my dreams. Then there was the companionship of dear friends to remind me I’m not alone on this journey called life. No matter what the situation was, the wheel of life always turned and rolled me over onto my feet.
As you are reading this, I invite you to visualise and manifest for yourself the song that you want to sing during and after this pandemic.